Kids and moving!

Kids are a big part of your large family move.  Preparing them, and making preparations for them will help make things go smoothly.  From babies to teens they all have their needs and struggles during this time.  Preparing them for your move should start early (the older they are, the sooner you start talking to them about the move).

Many have asked us if the moves are hard on the kids.  The answer?  Yes and no.  Moving is hard on everyone.  It is exhausting.  The stress is mental, emotional and physical.  No one gets away from this.  However I do believe that my kids have done fairly well through all of our moves.  I think homeschooling helps them.  They are moving with their main social unit.  This provides great stability for them.  We keep them involved in the plans and the process.  We talk them through it.  Over the years they have seen us to be true to our word in making great efforts to re-unite them with dear friends when possible.  They know that these "good-byes" are likely not forever; they are excited about the new friends they are sure to make and the many new experiences they have to look forward to.


We usually do a study on the new place we are moving to.  What is the climate like?  What sort of wildlife and vegetation will we see there?  What makes this place special?  Are there things there that will remind us of where we have been living?  Do we know anyone there?  If we know where we will be living we try to get pictures of the house.

Months out we start talking about people and places we want to see one last time.  Are there any dear friends we need to make an effort to see, to spend extra time with?  It can be hard to find the time during this busy season, but you need to set aside times to fellowship with dear friends.  It will do your heart good.

A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.

Proverbs 17:22 

I'm thankful for a dear friend that is letting my kids come over about once a week to play with her kids so that I can work.  This time is not just a blessing because of the work I'm able to do, but because of the good medicine it is for my children's hearts.  Now if only us moms could get out together for a bit!

Some practical/physical things you can do for your kids are....make sure they see their things being packed up.  Bonus points if you can let them see some other family's things being delivered to their new home (this is easy if you are living on base).  Let them pick some favorite toys to bring with them (or you pick favorite toys for them).

Kids need to be kept busy during the move.  Don't just let them wander around making trouble.  Have toys, snacks and activities planned for them.  Can they go play at a friend's house for a couple of hours to give them (and you) a break?

Have some easy snacks available.

A little box full of special toys and activities available will save you much trouble (make sure you think about what will be appropriate on each end of the move).  Get it ready weeks ahead.  Make sure you have things available for all age groups that you have, though your older kids may pack some of their own things or be helping with the move more.  Don't let this box be a "free for all" you pick when and what they will play with.  Some ideas...

-Could they do playdoh?  Maybe in a corner of a (non-carpeted) floor?

-rolling a ball through a (nearly) empty room/house is loads of fun

-Bubbles outside on the porch?

-Dolls for girls, cars for boys (I have a new set of Snap 'n style dolls for the girls, Hot Wheels for the boy)

-DVD and books for a quiet time (naps may be hard to work out)

-legos could keep kids busy for a bit

-coloring books and crayons?

-a game or two? (this could be great for older kids)

This bag is full of activities for the kids.  They are wrapped so that they can be out in the open, but not all used at once (out of sight, out of mind).  They are labeled so that I know what day to pull them out.  Playdoh is best done on our starting end where we have more non carpeted areas for that play.  Legos will be pulled out on the other end where the "lost" legos will be found.  These don't have to be new toys, just swipe them from the kids' rooms 2-4 weeks before the move.

Find ways for them to help with the work.  That is easy for the older kids.  They often help supervise the packing process.  Little kids can help pass out drinks at appropriate times, pick up garbage (make it a game; the most pieces in 2 minutes or so).  Think about what you are doing.  Can the child do any simple portions of your job?

Babies and toddlers have a hard time (in other ways) with moves.  They know things are changing, but they don't understand how.  Keep them close.  Don't just pass them off on sitters on these busy days.  They will likely love being in the baby carrier.  The Ergo is great for older babies/toddlers.  Wear the baby as much as you can.  You are their world, if you are close they will feel safe(r).  Baby gear is big and bulky, but may be worth it to bring with you.  It can be harder to let little ones play during a move, having a safe place like a saucer or playpen can be a big blessing.

Your children will feed off of your emotions and actions.  If you are excited and happy about the move, they will be more likely to be.  If you are stressed and frazzled; its likely they will be too.  By preparing your home slowly over time you can avoid some of the stress.  Do you have things that help you through stressful times?  Use them!  I'll be sure that I have plenty of "Stress Away" and "Peace & Calming" oils on hand for all of us and plenty of the foods that help us feel good (healthy, not indulgences).  Keep your family grounded in God's word, and praying often.  He is faithful, let your children see you continuing to put your trust in HIM!

Move prep- The 6 weeks to 1 month before

Moving is tough on a family, even when it is a hoped for and exciting move.  Doing as much as possible before the week of the move makes life easier on everyone.
*This post is written assuming a long distance move.  
**We are a military family, the military provides movers.  If you will be packing yourself start doing that now!  Start collecting boxes.  Start packing them with things you will not be needing (or can make due without) in the next month.

-Most large families have an extra freezer (or two).  Work through eating everything in it with the intention of having it empty about two weeks before the move.

This looks like a lot of food, but we have a lot of mouths to feed.  It should be mostly empty in a week or two.

-Along those same lines...Empty your cupboards.  Eat as much of it as you can in the coming month.  Start going through you cupboards and identify those things you know you just will not get to.  Pass these things on to a friend.  I've designated a friend that I know eats similarly to us and is happy to take these items.  

-Start putting together a list of things you want with you for your drive/transition time.  The last week/days will be crazy and your brain will be scattered.  Putting this list together now (and over the coming weeks) leaves you a greater chance of having everything you will need.  

*My list generally includes minimal items for the kids (lovies/baby gear/favorite toys), basic household items such as sheets, towels, enough kitchen gear to make some simple meals.

-Prep the car/van(s).  Oil change?  That funny rattle? How are the tires?  Clean the car well, inside and out.  Now is the time to organize the car/van if you haven't already.  Check out this post on organizing the 15 passenger van.

-Do some major organizing.  Hopefully you've already decluttered and worked on some organizing.  If you have any idea what your home on the other end will be like prep for it now.  Get things cleaned and organized that will not be in use in the coming weeks.  Don't let anyone touch them.

Every room in my house is a mess right now as we clean out, organize and move around all of our stuff.  Hopefully this will all be worth it on the other end!

-Have pets?  Think through what you will be doing with them through the move.  Boarding them?  Make sure they are in good health and have all of the needed shots.  Keeping them with you?  Identify a safe place in the house for your pets to be on moving day(s).  We usually use a bathroom.  Bathrooms have little that need to be packed and can easily be closed off so that pets don't escape with all the in/out and new people around.

-Plan out your meals for the next month or so.  Make up a plan for meals in transit and on the other end.  Try to minimize the junk, fast food and eating out.  If it's possible you could cook/freeze ahead some meals for this time.  I like to make this a fun time for the family and allow in some special treats and make life a bit easier.  However too much prepared foods etc means people are not feeling their best; this is a stressful time as it is feeling icky makes things worse.  A cooler and some dry ice can keep these things frozen during your drive.  Just make sure you have a place to store them on the other end (or keep adding more dry ice!).

-Already know where you are going?  Sometimes we already have a residence set up on the other end, sometimes not.  When we do, we try to make sure utilities are set up/transfered to our names.  Set up your phone number and anything else you possibly can.  *We like to have family "business" cards printed up.  If possible ,these are available before we move so that we can easily pass our info on to friends.  On the other end they are very helpful when we are meeting so many new people in a new place.  It also helps me to have one in my wallet so I can remember where I live. ;)

Organizing the 15 passenger van/large family vehicle

*I just became a Thirty-one Gifts independent consultant.  I've used many Thirty-one products to organize my van.  If you are interested in any of these products you can visit my site for more information or contact me directly using the "contact me" button on the side bar. 


Large families need large vehicles.  We have lots of people, and so we have lots of stuff.  It can be hard to get all we need in and/or keep it clean.  I'm sure there are as many ways to organize the van as there are families using them, I'll share what works for us.

I'll start in the back, and work my way forward.  Here in the back I have a pack n' pull caddy (on the right) with diapers, wipes, as well as scented baggies for those, well.....  I have a blanket here to do the diaper changes on.  I have some Large Utility totes and Deluxe Utility Totes as well as a "Market Fresh Thermal".  I use these to contain groceries and other items picked up while running errands.  These also come in handy when we are going out and about and need to contain/transport things. I keep a single stroller in the back in case we need it.  The double stroller is big and bulky so I only put it in for trips that I know I'll need it for.

Under the back seat (we've removed the last row in our 15 pax to give more cargo space) I have our emergency supplies.  These are things we shouldn't need, but make life so much easier to have if we do need them.  It contains a change of clothes for all of the little kids (I'll change these out for the seasons), snacks (beyond what I usually have in the front) in case we get stuck somewhere.  Towels and a bowl come in handy at times, but not something we need everyday access to.  I'm still working on what else needs to be in here.  I'll update later.

Now we move to the front....This cut down milk crate holds the family's water bottles when we are on the road.

On the floor in front of the baby's car seat we have a box containing favorite books that we like to give away.  These are books that have been blessings to our family and tend to come up in conversation (they are there, but out of the way should they be wanted).  On top of it is a bag that holds all sorts of handy things*.  The other box is for putting my purse, baby carrier and other smallish things I need for the day.  This keeps them out of the way, contained, and handy.

*band aids/neosporin/essential oils; hairbrush and rubber bands; sunscreen; lotion; "emergency snacks" as well and baby food (as well as heavier snacks for those with food intolerance's).

Attached to the baby's car seat (above) is a small bag that holds some toys and the pacie.  In the summer it gets too hot in the van to keep them in here for her, in the winter they are a bit cold.  It is best to have this bag come in and out with us (if I remember).

Under the front row are two dish pans.  The farthest one over I would describe as "my husband's" it has things like maps, flashlights, knife, tools, fire extinguisher, car paperwork etc.  The closest one doesn't have much right now; mostly crayons and a few small travel toys (and the extra ergo got thrown in there on our trip to the Grand Canyon).  These come in handy on a longer drive or when we get stuck somewhere longer than expected.

Around the front seat we have a second pack n' pull caddy.  This one holds tissues and garbage (I have extra plastic grocery bags in the bottom of this so I always have a new one available.  No need to go hunting in the house for one).  I have a diaper bag that is currently stored here at all times.  I hardly ever take it in with me when we go somewhere, but it is nice to take when I'll be somewhere more than an hour or so.* It is nice to know that this well stocked bag is here if I need it.  The coupon clutch in the dash holds the various coupons and passes (season) that had been making a mess up there.

*This diaper bag contains diapers, wipes, nursing cover, snacks (for mom and littles), baby toys, car (for the toddler boy).  Just what we may need for church, a visit with friends, a couple of hours out.

Under the front passenger side we have our first aid kit.  This is a beyond band aids emergency kit.  We added some essential oils that we would want for burns, nausea and injury.  I've also added children's and infants ibuprofen.

I'll be keeping some paper napkins and straws in the passenger side door pocket.

Preparing for a move

We're getting ready to move (again).   Moving a family of 10 (or any family for that matter) is hard work.  We start move prep months before our moves (as a military family we know a move is coming, even if we don't know where).

We de clutter.  When we think we've been through every room and there's nothing more to get rid of, we go through again (and we DO find more).  De cluttering is an ongoing process; it never ends.  Move time is time to get super serious about it.  Here are a couple of things to ask yourself to make the job easier...

-Do I use this? (If you haven't used it in a year or so, out it goes!)
-Does this cause problems in our home? (that toy the kids fight over constantly? Yep, it has to go!  That movie the kids picked up that nasty habit/word/quote from? Its gone too!  The vase that you're always moving around or hollering at the kids not to break?  Most definitely GONE!)
-Does it align with our family values? (That foolish book?  The toy that just makes noise?  Hobby that takes mom/dad away from the family WAY too much?  Video games that the kids spend all their time with instead of the family? Gone!)
-Do I love it?  Some things you can love, but not really need to keep.  Take a picture of those special things that you really don't want around any more, but want to keep the memory.
-Do I want my loved ones to have to pack/unpack this? (if its yours, but you plan to make others deal with it; think very hard about it.  They have their own things they need to do/take care of)  Is it worth their/my precious time?  Do I really want to have to find a place to store this?

This is our "get rid of pile."  My boxes are all getting filled.  It looks like its time to call The Salvation Army for a pick-up.

Answer these things truthfully and I'm guessing you will have an easier time letting go.

IF YOU HOMESCHOOL- Do your school planning (for the upcoming school year/months) before your move if at all possible.  Then you can relax a bit on the other end and "just" settle into the new house.  Try to plan a bit of "summer school" for the kids.  It will make it easier for you to keep them engaged and busy during that time.  I'll be going through a simple ABC Bible memory verse book with my kids as well as reading a Heroes of the Faith book (they will also each have simple math and reading assignments). Plan to take some breaks to explore your new area as well.

What a mess!  Hubby and I are putting up with this in our room (for the month) knowing that the fruit of the mess will be a well planned year of school.  I'll share more details in a future post.

Organize what you can in your current home.  Do you have a problem area?  Those things that just never found a home?  A stack you need to deal with?  That room you hope will work better in the next house.  Unfortunately those things don't tend to go away or get better with a move (I've hoped and tried).  Take care of them now, you'll be happier on the other end.

What comes in, must go out!

In preparation for our move we've instituted a "what comes in must go out" policy.  Any box that brings things into our house must go out with at least as much in it.  We are liking this policy and will likely keep it up even after our move.

This is a picture of several Amazon boxes that recently came in.  They are all loaded up to go out now.

I especially love bring boxes home from Costco.  They are generally full of consumables, but usually go out filled with non-consumable junk!

This exercise is also helpful in making us think harder about what we are bringing into the home.  Our kids realize that the more stuff we have, the more time we must spend taking care of the stuff.   This is a process.  Over the years we're finding many of them to be more thoughtful about what they are purchasing or asking for.  Even though we've seen growth in this area, we all have lots of room for improvement.

My 31 Party

A Flash 50% off sale was just announced starting on the 16th and ending the 23rd, so we will be ending the party early to take advantage of the sale.  Get your orders in by the 22nd for this party!  Follow the links below to shop, see the specials and place your order....

I'm placing a 31 gifts order and thought it would be fun to host a party on the blog.  You can join the party by going to this site and choosing "Gabe Harder's Thirty-one Party" and then start shopping (don't forget to have it shipped to you, instead of me).  This party will run through the 24th of March.  My friend Suzi is the Consultant for this party.  I'm sure she will be happy to answer any questions you may have; her contact information is on the web site.

I already own the Large Utility Tote.  It was a gift a year ago and gets used regularly.  I love that it is nice and sturdy, big, but does not take up much space when not in use.  The open top makes it easy to get all of our gear in the bag, and find what we need quickly.  This one comes in 25 prints; you're sure to find one that fits your style.

Here it is all packed up for jump rope camp.  5 kids are participating and the other 3 need to be entertained/fed for 2 hours.  I'm considering ordering another one since my hubby recently took up swiping this one. ;)

I saw the Hang-Up Home Organizer a few years ago and loved it, but didn't buy it.  I've been thinking about it ever since.  Why didn't I just buy it then?  I'm looking forward to using it to tame the mess that accumulates on my refrigerator  including various phone lists, coupons, calendars etc.

I've been needing some sort of organizers/trash bins for my van.  Not only does it look like the Pack N' Pull Caddy will do the trick for my van; my husband has requested one for his van as well.  I may purchase a third one for diapers and wipes.

Don't forget to check the monthly specials!  This month 5 of the totes are 50% off; for every $35 you spend you can pick one to purchase at the special price.  I'm planning to get the Easy Breezy Tote to use as a diaper bag this summer; though it looks like it will be great for many other uses.

I'm planning on getting a Pocket-a-tote to add on to this tote.  It will give me a nice zipper pocket to keep small things I don't want the kids having easy access to.

Have a great time, and I'd love to hear what 31 favorites you have, or what you think looks useful.  As we are preparing for our June move I'm in an organizing mood and I'm excited to be getting some great tools to help me.    Have fun Shopping!

*remember that the default shipping is to the hostess, make sure you mark that your purchase needs to be shipped to you.  While I always love getting surprise gifts in the mail; I'm sure you would like to be able to enjoy your wonderful purchases yourself!

Don't touch the baby's hands!

See these sweet little hands?  I know you just want to touch them and let them get a strong hold on your finger.  Please resist the urge.  

Please know that I love to share my babies.  They bring me such joy, and I love to be able to share that joy.  Often it is a sweet grandma touching my baby's fingers, and I try to think of them as my baby's grandmothers and great-grandmothers.  I imagine that these ladies have a sweet little one that they would love to touch and kiss, but their sweet babies are far away just as mine are from their grandmothers.  Or maybe this person just loves babies like I do.

What you/they may not realize (or remember) is....

-It’s cold and flu season (or not).  You have not washed your hands (and we're all out in a public place touching all sorts of things). Though they may look clean, they carry many germs.  My baby sticks her fingers in her mouth all the time; all of those germs just entered her system through your touch.

-I'm trying so hard to keep my family healthy, though the inevitable happens often enough.   My other (young) children are at home with the sitter so they don't pick up germs at the store and share with the baby.  The baby must come with me though; she needs to nurse too often to stay behind.

-The last cold that came through the house resulted in an ear infection for this sweet baby (requiring a trip to urgent care), a ruptured ear drum for an older brother, and pneumonia for an older sister.  Colds are hard on a young family (though that last one was exceptionally bad).

*The antibiotics, pain relievers, essential oils and nebulizer required to heal and comfort her during this last cold.  The nebulizer was needed for breathing treatments.

-New mamas are usually short on sleep; add in a sick baby, and we're running on fumes.  We cringe when a stranger touches our baby's fingers, no matter how sweet you are.

-Mamas, please teach your children not to touch a baby's hands.  This is just a good standard, and maybe they will remember this courtesy as adults.  If they have a runny nose or are sick remind them to stay away from baby.

Please consider the health and well being of the next baby you see before reaching out to grab that finger.

DO take a moment to comment on how sweet etc the baby is.  You might ask to softly pat baby's head or squeeze their toes (if easily accessible).  It is a bright spot in my day when I can share the joy of my baby.  BUT DON'T TOUCH THE FINGERS!!!!