Why we planned a home birth

*There are so many options when it comes to birthing.  There is no one right choice for everyone, just the best option for each mom and baby.  I'm sharing how we came to this choice this time.  It's not up for debate here. ;)

First a little humor....

It's an overall funny about his large family, he starts the home birth part at about 1:30

We've been heading in the direction of home birthing for a while now, but this will be our first.  Our last baby (#8) was born in a detached Birth Center staffed by Midwives.  While many will choose this option feeling it is "safer" than a home birth; the reality is that these facilities are rarely equipped with anything that would not already be at a home birth.  Sometimes they are located closer to a hospital making emergency transport faster, that's about it though.  The nearest birth center to us is over an hour away ruling it out as a reasonable option anyways.

Some reasons we were leaning towards home birth.....
1)Unnecessary interventions that had nothing to do with my labor/birth process or medical history.  Just hospital policy.
2)Uncertain environment.  So much depends on the nurse you get or the on call doctors.
3)Doctors not listening to my medical/pregnancy history and "freaking out" when the situation then comes up.  Jumping to suggestions of interventions and c-sections despite my assurances that the situation would right itself; because it always had in the past and did again shortly after it came up.  Specifically...my babies turn.  They spin all the way through the last month of pregnancy and even overdue.  Every single one has gone back to vertex for birth on their own, but none of my doctors listen to that.  My midwives do and have a much more relaxed attitude about this knowing there is nothing we can do until "birthday."
4)Our family dynamics.  Hospitals do not lend themselves well to a bunch of kids being around before, during or after a birth.   The birth center was so much better, but still not what we (or our children) were wanting.
5)My own pregnancy/labor/delivery and medical history makes me an excellent candidate for a home birth.  *If this was not the case it would have overruled all of the other reasons to home birth and we would go to a hospital.
6)This one really didn't come into play, but is a perk....given the time of year; planning to be home just feels good.  Snow storms, influenza outbreaks and such are not a concern knowing I'll be staying home.

This time the choice (in some ways) was made for us.  Once we looked at our options realistically in terms of what we needed and what our insurance would cover it was clear what our choice would be.  My husband is in the military.  We're thankful for the medical coverage we have, but in this instance it would not work for us.  For oh so many reasons the Army Hospital* in our area was not an option for us (distance, reputation, and policies are some of the reasons).  Civilian doctors and hospitals were not really an option unless we found ourselves in an emergency situation during labor; in that case they would be covered and would be able to provide much better (in our opinion) and faster care than the military facility.  *Last time we were stationed in this area we also did not see this hospital as a good option.  At that time we had other options that we were able to use, and ended up with a civilian doctor at a civilian hospital.

This left Home Birth which we'd been leaning towards anyways.  We paid out of pocket for it since it is not covered by our insurance.  Only my lab work was covered for this pregnancy.  While having to pay for it on our own is an added strain it greatly relieves other strains and concerns.  I know we're not alone in making this choice and many others go through much more financial hardship in order to make this happen.

My oldest daughter delivering her baby sister with the help of our midwife.

I love that my midwife takes her time at my appointments; each one has been about an hour long.  She is much more detailed in her questions about my pregnancy and over-all health.  She does more testing too.  Nothing big, but she is certainly much more aware of my over-all health than most of my doctors ever have been.  With the longer appointments we're able to get to know each other better.  I trust her more than I've trusted most of my doctors, and I'll feel much more comfortable with her at the birth.  This is much more of a partnership.  We're in this together to get the best outcome for both me and the baby.  An added bonus?  Her husband is retired military in a similar career field as my husband.  We share some similar experiences in that aspect as well.  She understands our life in a way that many midwives could not.  Finding the right midwife can make a huge difference. :) 

Preparing the postpartum nest for recovery time (taking care of mom)

I just had my 8th baby.  Over the years I've come to find that preparing for a peaceful recovery time is just as important (if not more) as preparing for baby.  After birth mama is recovering from the toll that pregnancy has taken on on her body, recovering from birth, getting to know the new baby, building a nursing relationship with baby and dealing with hormonal changes.  Whew!  Thats a lot to deal with all at once.  I've found that the more time that can be dedicated to a quiet recovery the better I do in the following months and year.  There have been times when the recovery time has been virtually non-existent with me needing to jump into life quickly after birth.  While I was able to do this; my health suffered (mastitis several times and various viruses and infections that my body SHOULD have been able to fight off, but did not) and it really took me much longer to get back on my feet as far as caring for my family goes even though it looked like I had been able to just jump back into "life."

Important parts of postpartum recovery-

-Get help!  Can your husband take time off of work?  My husband has almost always taken 2 weeks of leave after our babies were born (we recently found out that he now gets 10 days of paternity leave!).  My mom usually comes for a week when baby is about two weeks.  That gives me 3 weeks to rest and adjust.  If your husband can't take time off and your family can't help look into what other options you have.  Are your friends or church family willing to help out a bit?  We've had young women come and stay with us a couple of times to help out.  Accept any help that is offered and keep a list of things you could use help with so if someone offers you know what needs to be done (laundry, meals, errands, cleaning the house, watching the kids....).  *It can be hard to ask for help, or to take the help offered.  A couple of years ago a dear friend sweetly reminded me that I needed to let others help me the way I love to serve and help others.  By not taking the help offered I was robbing others of the chance to obey God and serve in the way he had put on their hearts.  


-STAY IN BED!!!!  Try to stay in bed for a week.  Your body really does need this rest. Sleep when baby is sleeping.  I wear PJ's for at least that first week to help me remember that I'm supposed to be resting; even if I do feel well. This has the added bonus of not trying to get into real clothes for a while giving your belly a bit more time to shrink. ;)

-TRAIN your children!!!!  This can be so hard in the last weeks when you are not sleeping well and moving around is getting harder and harder.  The temptation to slack off is very real (and I've succumbed to it).  The more time you spend working with your children and training them during this time the better off you (and your whole family) will be.  Inspect the work you expect them to do.  Keep up with school (if you homeschool), too much free time will only lead them to trouble.  Work on any discipline issues (they will only get worse after baby if you don't).  Are any kids ready to step into some jobs you usually do, even if for a short time?  Some of my kids are learning to make some meals that I would normally do.  My youngest is getting used to his big sister putting him down for a nap, while his big brothers are doing his diaper changes as I will not be lifting him for a few weeks after I have baby.

-Prepare your room for an extended stay.  I make sure that everything (other than food and drinks) that I will need in the next week or so are in my room.  Baby's bed, diapers, clothes  etc. are all set up in my room.  I've gathered PJ's and sweats that I know will fit and they are in a nice neat stack with nursing bras and pads right next to them.  I'll keep some books, DVDs and thank you cards next to my bed as well.

This is an old entertainment center that has been repurposed to be used as a dresser/changing table.  Notice the pictures?  They are from the "belly picture" session we had with a dear friend.  I love the joy and anticipation represented in these pictures; as well as the thought of the dear friend behind the camera.

-Have treats planned.  This is a special time, make it feel like it is.  Have some favorite foods ready to go in the house.  Have some extra money set aside to get take out (I'm looking forward to sushi and Thai food as evening "dates" with my husband).  I also have tea and biscotti set aside to be enjoyed as mid-morning snacks.  Make sure you have plenty of healthy snacks as well; nuts, cheese, nut crackers, as well as fruits and veggies are some great ones.  Be sure to have a great water bottle that you enjoy drinking from; getting plenty of water is so important while nursing.

I find that ice cold water from a straw is what I do best with.  This insulated water bottle makes it easy for me to have water with me anywhere I go.

-CLOTHES that will fit after baby should be prepared before baby is born.  Chances are that you either don't own anything that will fit (if this is your first or you have a big space) or that the clothes that will fit have not seen the light of day for well over a year.  I pulled out some of the clothes I think will fit and made sure they were ironed.  Now they will be ready for me when I am ready to venture out of the house; instead of having to dig through my closet/bins to find something that needs to be ironed while trying to get out of the house with the new baby (as I've had to do in the past).

-MEALS should be planned and made ahead.  If you are blessed with meals from others these meals in your freezer will help you ease back into running your home while you continue to adjust.  Even if you don't have a large freezer many meals can be frozen flat in gallon bags.  You would be surprised how much you can get into that freezer above the refrigerator.  As a bonus if you can have a grocery list ready so that one of your helpers can make that run before they leave you will be thankful not to have to take the baby on that sort of trip quite yet.  *We've been so blessed with over two weeks of meals from our church family, friends, and even pizza delivery from family out of town!  This means we will not be getting into our freezer meals until around the time my husband will be going back to work! I'll have nearly two months of not needing to make dinner!

-A clean house (and I mean CLEAN, not just picked up) is a nice bonus.  It will be so much easier for you to enjoy your recovery time knowing your house has been cleaned well.  It seems many pregnant women can hardly help but do this in the last weeks anyways as they nest.  Cleaning out the entry closet, the sewing room, garage and pulling out fall clothes for the kids were on my list this time around.

-Enjoy your baby and your family!  This is a special time for bonding with your baby and getting to know him/her as well as a recovery time.  When all of the above are in order it will be much easier to enjoy this time.  Your family will be better able to enjoy this special time as well when your home is well prepared for baby's arrival.  This should be a special time for all of you!

Freezer cooking (preparing for baby/postpardum recovery time)

Its time for me to start filling up our freezer with meals so that after baby is born my family can be fed with little to no effort on my part.  It makes me feel so good to know that once all of my help is gone I'll have these meals waiting for our family to make life easier as we continue to recover and adjust.

I started my freezer filling weeks ago by researching recipes that would freeze well (my old standbys no longer work as we need to keep the meals dairy free for our toddler).  I found a bunch here that look like they will work well for my family.  I made up a master list of what we would need, looked through the pantry/freezer to see what we already had, and then made up my grocery list from there.  The day before our big cooking day I did a big shopping trip.  When we got home we set everything we could out on our school table with the recipe they belonged to as well as the (labeled) bag or pan that would be needed.

I hit the ground running the morning of our cooking day.  Chicken breasts needed to be cooked up for a couple of recipes and beans also needed to be cooked up.  After breakfast I was able to start assembling.  The rest of the family was occupied with our regular Saturday cleaning chores.  My husband was kind enough to supervise this and take care of the little kids.  This allowed me to give my undivided attention to the cooking.

By the afternoon everyone had finished their regular chores and came in to help me.  What a blessing this was as I was starting to loose steam.  My oldest took over a couple of recipes for me.  One of my boys took over a recipe as well.

I was very thankful for my five year old's help.  She was my little runner that afternoon; getting things I needed and putting other things away.  She also peeled quite a few carrots for me.

By the end of the day I was beat, done, out of steam.  I was glad I had started our dinner in the crock pot that morning.  I put my feet up for the rest of the evening and enjoyed the thought of the 29 meals waiting in the freezer.

*To help keep track of what is in there and allow my helpers to know what is available we have an inventory sheet on the freezer.  As I added meals I quickly wrote down what they were.  Now the trick will be to find what you are looking for. ;)

**The key to one of these big cooking days is being well organized ahead of time, including the meals you and your family will be eating that day and the care of any young children.  Working together as a team REALLY helps too.  I could not have made it through the last 10 meals or so without the help of our crew.  It also gives the whole family a sense of accomplishment knowing we did this all together. 

Surviving Morning sickness (hyperemesis)

Well, I made it through my 8th round of "morning" sickness.  Who ever thought to call it "morning" sickness?  Every time it has been 24 hrs, and often it has been worse in the afternoons or evenings.  Morning sickness in general is rough, you are exhausted and nauseated constantly; then throw in a few kids and it gets really rough.  Some of us get to spend the entire time throwing up (or working really hard not too).

I've struggled with hyperemesis with with most of my pregnancies (I didn't with one, but I miscarried that baby).  To say it is rough would be an understatement, but each of these sweet babies are so worth it, I'm happy to (in a small way) offer my body as a living sacrifice.  These are some of the things I've found have helped over the years....

1. Whole foods (no, not the store); eating foods that are NOT processed,  and ARE full of the nutrients my body needs really do help.  Keeping a good diet before getting pregnant has seemed to help.  For me a diet high in meat, eggs, and vegetables really keeps me going; on the other hand too many sugars (including whole grains and fruits) seem to take my blood sugar levels on a ride that makes me sick.

*This has been one of my favorite meals.  Onions and spinach cooked up in olive oil and an egg or two fried over it.  Season with salt.  Serve with avocado over the top.  A friend of mine suggested it as it helped her through morning sickness as well.  I found that this seemed to be just the right combination of protein, fats, and vitamins to settle my stomach and help me feel satisfied.

2. Stay hydrated!  This sounds easier than it is.  I've found that drinking from a straw works better than from a cup.  We have four sources of water in our house (tap, filtered refrigerator water, water cooler,and a berkey) I couldn't stand any of them.  Other drinks would work for a while (like a couple of days), but eventually would make me sick.  The ONLY thing I could drink consistently was the water from Sonic.  Yep, twice a day we (mostly my husband) would go order a RT44 WATER.  Hey, you do what you gotta do.

3.  Don't worry about the house, and homeschooling.  Just do what you can, it'll all be there when you get better.  Do try to enjoy the kids.  Use this time to snuggle with the little ones.  This is also a time when kids will step up and help out more.  I've seen this every time, the kids are eager to serve and are excited about the new baby.  *This is also the time to take the easy route.  I prefer to serve my kids homemade meals made with whole grains and such.  While my big kids helped out quite a bit and did manage quite a few healthy meals, this is also the time for letting them have French toast sticks or cereal for breakfast, PB&J or Mac&Cheese regularly for lunch, and Pizza for dinner often.  This is a short season, you will all recover soon enough!  

4. Drugs!  Truly, I don't know how I'd make it through without drugs.  While I'm the type that tries not to even take Tylenol (pregnant or not).  Zofran is my best friend during this time.  It keeps me from needing IV's or a stay in the hospital.  It allows me to be somewhat functional and present instead of constantly running to the bathroom, lossing excessive amounts of weight, and getting so worn down that I need further medical intervention. (Without drugs I do get to a point that I can't even keep water down ans lose weight.)  *laughter is good medecine too.  Being sick can lead you to be in some fairly pathetic situations that can be quite disheartning if you don't approach them with a bit of humor.  One thing I've found is that toddlers contribute quite a bit of humor as they watch mommy go through something they don't understand.  I've had toddlers chase me as I run to the bathroom and stand behind me making the same noises I'm making OR clapping and cheering me on.  Yea, laugh so you don't cry. ;)

5.  Training the kids; this should be a part of your regular parenting, and if it has been, now is a time you will see the results.  If you have not been, you will also see the results. ;)  If you know ahead of time that morning sickness could be an issue, I'd encourage you to look for areas that your kids need help in obediance or could step in and help more. *Be realistic in your expectations.  If you have all littles it may be that the most you can hope for is that they pick up their toys and grab diapers (or other commonly needed easily accesible items).  Maybe they could make their own PB&J?  As they get older they can help more.  My oldest is 12, I also had a 10 and 9 year old for this go 'round; this is the first time our home has been maintained and meals resembled our regular diet.

6. Natural remedies do not work well when you are in the thick of this kind of morning sickness, but it can ease some of the symptoms early on or at the end.  I've found Lemon and Peppermint to be very helpful both in the form of tea and essential oils.  Ginger has been said to be helpful too, but I usually can't stand the smell or taste or ginger.  In one pregnancy I did find that ginger root tablets helped, but I had to swallow them down with something with a strong flavor to cover up the ginger.

7. The biggest one of all?  The body of Christ!  This go round was not any better physically (in fact it seemed to be a bit worse, or the meds didn't work as well), but in many ways it seemed much easier.  I know I had many praying for me, and I'm so thankful for their prayers.  We were also blessed to have an amazing community that stepped in in big and small ways to help us through this.  Meals were brought over regularly.  Others invited us over to get us out, but in a comfortable setting close to home. A young woman came into our home a couple times a week and helped with anything that needed to be done.  Some ran errands for us.  A friend took one of my more active boys to her home a couple of times a week (this child is a sweet heart, but is high energy AND needs constant supervision.  He was thrilled to get to go help this friend with yard work and I could rest knowing this child was in good hands).  The flexibility of many was appreciated as we worked around my "good" times.  In no way least; my husband and kids truly served our family in big ways.  They showed the love of Christ and servant's hearts as they cared for our home.

*None of this is intended as medical advice.  I'm just a mom sharing what has helped me get through this over the last 13 years.  If you are struggling to keep foods/liquids down while pregnant you really should speak to your doctor or mid-wife about it.

I'm linking to My Joy Filled life- pregnancy journal link-up